The whore of Revelation 2

There is only one time in Revelation where a whore is mentioned and her identity is plainly given without symbols:

You have some people there who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who instructed Balak to put a stumbling block before the Israelites: to eat food sacrificed to idols and to play the harlot.--Revelation 2:14

Another verse a few verses later calls the whore "my servants"

Yet I hold this against you, that you tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, who teaches and misleads my servants to play the harlot and to eat food sacrificed to idols.--Revelation 2:20

Praying to Jesus vs Iglesia Ni Christo

Based on a tract I received from a member of the Filipino group "Iglesia Ni Christo" aka INC aka Iglesia ni Kristo aka "Church of Christ", they do not believe in praying to Jesus, and claim the bible makes no mention of it, and is therefore not acceptable. The tract can be seen below in the previous blog post. Likewise it also seems that Jehovah Witnesses and Christodelphians take issue with praying to Jesus also.

John 14:13-14 makes mention of praying to Jesus by Jesus Himself.

And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.--John 14:13-14

Acts 7:59 is an explicit mention of praying to Jesus

While they were stoning him, Stephen PRAYED, "LORD JESUS, receive my spirit."--Acts 7:59

Against Iglesia Ni Christo

A week ago a member of the Iglesia Ni Christo claimed prayers to Mary and saints were wrong, and then asserted the saints are unconscious and that not even Jesus was to be prayed to, his statement is the following which is in black, my rebuttal is in blue

There is no such thing in the Bible that Mary was also resurrected like Jesus Christ and then she went to heaven with Jesus Christ. Mary is still sleeping in the dust, like all those who await resurrection, and cannot hear prayers.

 Like the Seventh Day Adventist group that their founder left, they too advocate soul sleep--the doctrine that once you die you are essentially without a consciousness until the resurrection--something that is never actually taught in the Bible. Furthermore, this group insists like most Protestants that Mary is "sleeping in dust, however, we Catholics believe Mary was resurrected a short time after her death in Ephesus, since she was the Ark of the New Covenant, since she contained the presence of God--Jesus Christ in her womb. We know this because of the parallel's Luke 1 draws between Mary and the account of David and the Ark in 2 Samuel 6, both refer to the hill country around Judea, both refer to the ark coming to a Levitical family--Oved Edom and Zachariah, and being there 3 months, and both refer to a person saying "how is it that the ark of the Lord should come to me." Psalm 132:8 is applied to Jesus and Mary, in regards to being caught up to Heaven.  Soul sleep is not supportable since Moses, Elijah spoke with Christ, plus the witch of Endor incident shows otherwise with Samuel, which the bible calls Samuel.

 "The living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing" .(Ecclesiastes 9:5,10)

 A verse popular with Jehovah Witnesses too. They take it to mean the dead know nothing absolutely, but the context says the living know they will die, the dead do not have knowledge they will die, or anything else, because their fates sealed, they have nothing to look forward to. The Jewish explanation by the commentator RASHI is : “For the living know that they will die” and perhaps their hearts will return on the day of death and they will repent of their ways, but after they die, they do not know anything, and they have no more reward for the actions that they do from their deaths and onwards, for whoever toils on the eve of the Sabbath will eat on the Sabbath.—chabad.org

"The dead do not praise the Lord, nor any who go down in silence". (Psalm 115:17)

 This is another instance where reading the next verse shows what it means. "But we will bless the LORD from this time forth and for ever." It says they will bless God forever, its contrasted with the previous verse meaning they do not consider themselves part of the previous verse, the previous is referring to those spiritually dead, on top of that in Judaism the term "dummah"--silence in verse 17 is taken as an expression of damnation/hell especially in the Zohar.

Another reason not to pray to Mary is that anyone who does so is breaking one of God’s commandments. In the Bible God forbids anyone to consult the dead:

"Should not a people seek their God? Should they seek the dead on behalf of the living?" (Isaiah 8:19).

 Now to see what the whole verses says:  

And when they shall say unto you: 'Seek unto the ghosts and the familiar spirits, that chirp and that mutter; should not a people seek unto their God? on behalf of the living unto the dead for instruction and for testimony?'--Surely they will speak according to this word, wherein there is no light.--

The issue was people using witchcraft, similar to what the Witch of Endor did, trying to conjure up dead spirits to get instructions back from them. 

The third reason not to pray to Mary is that Jesus taught that all prayer must be addressed only to "Our Father who art in Heaven". (Luke 11:2) Jesus did not even teach us to pray to himself; when he prayed he prayed to God. There are no examples of prayer to anyone except God, our Father in the whole Bible. Not to Jesus. Certainly not to Mary. And Mary herself, as we have seen, sung to and prayed to God, and Him only.

 They make a point kind of, there is no instruction to pray to Mary in the bible. In fact they go a step further and claim similar with Jesus, which is incorrect John 14:14 says:

If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it.

On top of that we know from Acts 7:59 that some of the last words of Stephen as he was being martyred were "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." They cite the "Our Father" as proof we only pray to Jesus, however, there is no instruction that praying is limited to the Father, since Jesus explicitly permitted prayer to Him. There is no mention of prayer to the Spirit, however, yet it would make sense if the Son can be prayed to that likewise the Spirit can, and the absence of something so great in the Bible shows it would not be unreasonable to expect a lack of explicit mention of prayers to saints likewise absence.

The same goes for the singing of Ave Maria, or saying Hail Mary. People who do this need to understand that (1) the Bible teaches that Mary cannot hear them, (2) they are disobeying God’s commandment on talking to the dead, and (3) they are disobeying Christ’s instructions on prayer.

The failed to prove any of these points. Nothing in the bible says Mary cannot hear--in fact Elijah and Moses heard Jesus while on earth, the angels know when a Christian repents according to Jesus, Jesus said believes are like the angels, that his followers are to be considered alive even though physically dead, and he never mentioned anything about soul sleep, in fact Revelation shows people in heaven, and so does Hebrews 12.

So you want to speak in Tongues

Disclaimer: The following is a joke, do not link to this as if this is a real script. I believe tongues are possible, I just think the following is absurd.

So, YOU want to learn to speak in tongues?! Following my lessons will increase your quantity of the Spirit by 134%.  After enough practice you can master my program and be like the new Benny Hinn! Remember this is Tongues 101, not Tongues 201, which incorporates physical actions like dancing. Tongues 301 incorporates rolling on the floor. Tongues 401 and 501 are for graduate students only and teach you to cry, paint, moan, and to be slain, with emphasis on mastery of being "drunk in the Spirit."

First, you need to prepare.

Start off your prayer in a public setting so people can hear your prayer, a street corner, or church, or prayer meeting, just so as long as God and others can hear your prayer, avoid any private settings or "prayer closet"--God cannot hear you in those. Then, select one of two options:

a)Speak assertively--Choosing this option forces YHWH to hear you are using authority, and this proves to others your authority. IF you select this, speak in a loud, stern voice.

b)Speak passionately--Choosing this option requires you to speak very emotionally as if losing your breath, and makes your public prayer appear humble and holy among bystanders. 

Remember, you can later change A to B, or B to A while praying, in fact a well seasoned tongue talker will be able to do so with ease. As you pray, do not give anyone the opportunity to interrupt your long winded prayer, they will distract you from proving your Prophethood.

As you pray, ask for prayer requests that you can do--a well seasoned tongue talker will be given first priority for prayer requests. Its also advisable to pray using an accent, some form of Southern drawl is best.

Use the falling script:

"We bring to you today Father, x. We pray that you heal him/her. We know you are the God of healing. Halleujah. Thank you Lord God, Hallejuah. In Jesus Name. Halleujah, thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus."

*note, make sure you vainly repeat sections over and over, similar to the rosary, but not quite--God forbid you sound Catholic.

Now continue with the following scripture, remember to follow it as if it were a liturgy--which you as a Pentecostal reject completely:

"Halleujah Father, we come against it in the name of Jesus, hallelujah, Father. Heal x in the name of Jesus, in the name of Jesus, Come against it/this in the Name Of Jesus, your word says you will do y (quote a scripture that is relevant or not to healing, or substitute it with something that sounds like it could be in the bible). I rebuke that spirit of y [be creative, think of a demon to blame the person affliction on. Touch X from the top of his/her head to the tips of his/her toes, in the name of Jesus. Father, makes sure .....happens. Set them free Father, in the name of Jesus. Praise God, praise God, praise God. praise God. Make it go in the name of Jesus, halleujah Father."

Remember, if anyone thinks you are crazy, drunk, or high then you are doing it right! After all, some of the Apostles' critics at Pentecost accused them of being drunk! Some foolish heretics think they were simply slandering the apostles, nonsense, the apostles absolutely appear greatly inebriated, since they were! Some fools will point to St Peter's word immediately afterwards denying they were drunk, do not listen to such doubt. They certainly rolled around like animals, slapping people, and babbling!

At this point quote lots of scripture, so as to demonstrate before God and man your knowledge of the bible, even if its not necessarily relevant to the situation, doing this makes you wise in the Lord.

Now, is when you are prepared to tongue talking. If you are experienced you may have already started! If you are a novice, I recommend this scripture--the key is to make your prayer language sound like a real language, selecting Hebrew, or some Spanish like language is ideal--assuming the bystanders are not knowledgeable of those languages, doing such is ill advised. Here is a sample script to follow, this you refine and adapt your own prayer language:

Yahala bara boshata. Tostada hada el borakada. [Insert some intelligible words, then resume with tongues.]

Remember, using the same words when praying in tongues is absolutely fine, in fact most people will not realize it, and the ones you do you can easily dismiss as mockers and blasphemers that deny the POWER of the SPirit.

Remember, a well experienced tongue talker can naturally fall between tongues and real words with easy.

Continue with these words:

"Give x a double portion. Build a hedge around him/her Lord, restore him, O Lord. Bahaha shada ala tostada, hafada enchildada. amen"

Address a short prayer to Satan(somewhat similar to what Catholics do when addressing angels and saints to ask them to intercede, but they cannot hear you, however, Satan and his demons are more powerful and can hear):

Devil get away from x in the name of Jesus, halleujah, you have no authority of them. Get back Satan!

Then address those bystanders standing in awe:

Bless us Father, that we may walk in the newness of life, may we talk in the anointing of Jesus, hallelujah God, praise Jesus, praise Jesus, praise Jesusssss, we thank you Lord God. Hababa hababa Shaba  imbalatada!

Then address any doubters around:

O Lord, cast out any spirit of doubt, O Lord, free us of any negative spirit, that we may live in the newness of Christ, hallelujah Lord. Shananananababa yabadabadooo!

It is strongly advised you turn the prayer into a long, drawn out sermon, with the occasional reminding God of what He wrote, otherwise God may very well forget what He Himself had written. You may continue with a mix of the above.

When ending your long prayer, of vain like repetition, laden with the Spirit, you can use the following:

We thank you Lord, for sending the Comforter, that we walk in the newness, Believe in God because He believes in you! Tostada! Enchilda, shahada, hababa. For in my fathers house there are many mansions, as Jesus said "I am the way the truth and the Life" We have come out of the world and into the Newness. As it is said in Ephesians "we have the armor of the Lord" for we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against powers and principality. We take on the whole armor of God to go against the enemy that comes. Yabadabadooo!

Resume with quoting every scripture very you ever knew, this is most efficacious. Then cap that off with:

Remember to pray in the Spirit, for the day of deliverance. Listen for His voice, He will guide us, praise God, praise God. Did you know when the Israelites walked thru the  desert that they could have walked only 11 days and not 40 years? Hallelujah.

Remember, to go in between praying to God, addressing Satan directly, and addressing your bystanders.
Then say:

We thank you Lord, Father, Baraka shema bababala haha shemama. Father God, we glorify you o Lord, our finisher of our faith. Let these illnesses drop off Father, that we be free. Supply X with a new job, prepare a way for her. We thank you father, we praise you father, halleujah father. Praise God, praiseeee God, praiseee God, we thank you in Jesus name, amen and amen, halleujah, amen, praise God! TOSTADA, chulupa, baba tosadata shadatata! You know folks when you ask anything of Jesus in His name He will give it to you. Hobababa blaw blaw blawblaw! We praise you Lord, we praise you.

Now go in between doing something else and praying, going back and forth between the two.  Do not give anyone a chance for interpretation of the tongues you spoke in, unless they are preapproved by you personally in advance. And remember, never allow more than one person to interpret tongues, since they may contradict, casting doubt on your Holiness. For these reasons, its best to omit interpretation completely. 

After you finish  praying, give your testimony about how the first time you spoke in tongues you were drunk and high on drugs. Hallelujah! 

On the Extremely long life spans in Genesis

For a while I was confused and uncertain if it was even possible to understand the extremely long lifespans the book of Genesis presents, as my pdf on this shows, I thought it might be symbolic, or something I did not know about, perhaps in the years was different. Then I saw a news article about a man that caught a 200 year old rock fish in Alaska, which got me to looking at animal lifespans, among which I found this fascinating Wikipedia article that discusses the extreme lifespans of plants and animals. Since humans are animals, it mentions how there is the immortal jellyfish which can revert itself to youth after reaching puberty, through transdifferentiation, making the cells totipotent after differentiation takes place--which does not happen in humans. But, putting that aside, there was one mention of a high mammal with an extreme lifespan that has no been witnessed in modern history--like the Bowhead Whale that was estimated to be 211 years old--granted it lives in the Arctic with just about no predators, nonetheless the lifespan is amazing for a mammal that size. 

Bada found that most of the adult whales were between 20 and 60 years old when they died, but five males were much older. One was 91, one was 135, one 159, one 172, and the oldest whale was 211 years old at the time of its death. That whale, alive during the term of President Clinton, was also gliding slowly and gracefully through the Bering, Chukchi and Beaufort seas when Thomas Jefferson was president.-Alaska.edu

The oldest human being in recent history died at 122 and a half years old-- Jeanne Calment. This certainly puts to rest the claim some people make about Genesis 5 setting man's lifespan to a maximum of 120 years! (It was actually the amount of time humanity had to clean up its act before the Flood).

Anyway, if we can find a whale that's 211 years old, and that's just the one we found, what's to say it was not possible for a human being to live well passed 122 years old, considering how much smaller humans are than whales!?

Addendum: Scientists discover Greenland sharks live approximately 400 years. http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/11/health/greenland-sharks-long-lives/